Gay-Man in Nigeria Talks on Why He Moved to Canada

My name is Adedire Samson Temitope and I am a citizen of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. Born in the relatively peaceful town of Ifetedo in the year 1991, I had a fairly normal childhood like many of the citizens of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. Growing up, it was ingrained in me and I fairly observed that the family units in Nigeria, composed solely of a mother, a father and their children. There were no variations, no modifications, or changes to the family unit and structure and my parents as well as the entire community expected that I observe and uphold traditional family structure when I become an adult. However, the reverse was the case for me, as I observed during my teenage years that although I was attracted to girls, I had a much stronger inclination and attraction towards men. I had my first relationship with Yemi, in secondary school. Like me, he was born and raised in Ifetedo and had the same tastes as me. Given the nature of our community, many people thought we were just close friends, but we were in fact lovers. In order not to arouse any suspicions, we dated each other but had relationships with girls in line with traditional expectations and although I had a strong urge to disclose this fact to my parents, the taboo of discussing heterosexual relationships as a teenager, talk less of same sex relationships prevented me from opening up to my parents. For over 15 years, Yemi and I kept our relationship private and while we had our close call with the police and authorities, we were never apprehended. In Nigeria, being in a same sex marriage or relationship is punishable with 14 years imprisonment. To avoid imprisonment, stigmatization and ostracization by our family and community, we kept our relationships as secret as possible, disguising as close friends and business partners. However, just like every being on this earth, we have a right to love and to celebrate our love regardless of the form and the gender of the person whom we choose to give our love. This is what inspired us, and like persons in November 2022 to attend a gay wedding which was secretly organized by a gay community in Nigeria (names withheld to protect the confidentiality of the persons involved). To our greatest surprise, we were raided by the town head and his officers (the moral police). Upon being apprehended, we were beaten, molested and publicly shamed for our sexual orientation but I managed to escape before handed over to the Nigeria police force. I immediately took a night bus and returned to my parents to seek solace. However, the arrest had gone viral and they rejected me, claiming that I had brought shame and disrepute to the Adedire family. Given that my home was no longer welcoming, I ran to Lagos where I have been hiding. However, I am being hunted down like a dog by the authorities simply because I am gay and bi-sexual. I will never be ashamed of my sexuality as I cannot help but feel attracted to men. However, staying in Nigeria is very risky given that my cover has been blown. Asides from discrimination by the government, corporate organizations and the local community, there are numerous stories about the extra-judicial killings by the Nigerian police force of gay and bi-sexual people, many a times with unmarked graves. While, my lover was not so lucky, to evade arrest, I have done all that I can to get him released from custody but it appears to me that the Nigerian police force seeks to extort me till I can pay no more.This is what informed my decision to travel to Canada. I am on the run and wanted by the village head, the community and the police for committing the crime of daring to have a different sexual orientation. It has been a very difficult journey living as a gay man in Lagos, and it is very hard to get away from people calling me  names, because your business is everyone’s business. The snide remarks and disgusted look from people who judge me had become the norm and I could not do anything about it. I hope to be granted asylum in Canada, and hope that it is as diverse and inclusive as I have heard as I do not want a repeat of what I went through in Nigeria.

#figo